WE HAVE OUR INTERN IMAGINE 7 NEW DRINK SPONSOR TEAMS

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Energy drink sponsorships have been the best way for skateboarders to earn a solid income while playing with a toy for some time. All you have to do is sell your soul, move to Southern California, and wear a designer hat for the rest of your life.

Arizona slowly broke into the market and sponsored skateboarders, dressing them in the flashiest designs imaginable and spreading crazy street imagery.

If Arizona can do it, I started to wonder what other beverage companies would be like if they got into the skate sponsorship game. I guess you can call it pro bono market research.

And before anyone mentions liquor companies – I’m under 21 and I’m pretty sure my dad is reading these articles, so I’m going to refrain from commenting on alcohol for now.

Guayaki Yerba Mate

Being a natural remedy, you’d probably expect the Yerba Mate team to be filled with all-natural, vegan, home-schooled anti-vaccines, but I don’t think that’s true. Instead, I’ve noticed that most Yerba drinkers are in their mid to early 20s and are starting to accept that they never go pro, so they try to put together one last video part. ” banging ”between friends.

The Big Aluminum Yerba can bring them back to their youth when they hit the bar after skating all day, so it’s really a “healthier” way to relive their youth. I think adding a few Perma-Flow Bros to the squad would be a good start for Guayaki.

Snapple

There is an age, probably around 30, when people stop drinking Arizona and go for the less tasty Snapple. This could be because their bodies can no longer handle the fake sugar and mysterious chemicals found in Arizona, but it’s probably because they don’t want to look cheap and only pay 99 cents for it. the refreshment of their choice.

I really don’t know who would skate for the Snapple skate team, to be honest. It would look like an imitation of the Arizona squad, which would be odd as Arizona isn’t exactly praised for their flawless style. People don’t want to knock them out and fuck them.

Maybe some intellectual skaters would like to skate for Snapple. Mark Suciu and Walker Ryan would probably really appreciate the fact inside the cap.

Aloe garden water

Tom Karangelov appears to be an aloe water type. He seems like a normal guy from the outside, but there is something about these monochrome outfits that he wears that makes me think he likes a little bit of excitement in his life. Aloe water could be that little bit of excitement. It’s really just fresh water, but then there are these little pieces of aloe. It’s a little funky, but everything is fine.

When I first bought aloe water, I wasn’t sure what to expect. I thought it was going to be gooey and have the texture of drinking really wet peanut butter. Not sure why I decided to give it a try, but glad I did because it was A1. The fictional version of Tom K in my head tastes good, it’s confirmed.

Essential water

If Essentia created a skate team, they would probably face the same criticism as Cariuma. Water is the least basic thing imaginable. No one has ever been hyped on the water. Well maybe Steve Berra did. Water marks are probably making a lot of money.

Essentia tries to market its water as if it is a sophisticated technological product with more health benefits than the average water bottle. They seem to think that just because it has a higher price, people will believe that it is a better product and that it will make us “perform” better, and maybe skate like Deedz and the rest of the Nordic skaters with it. endless style.

Nesquik milk

If Nesquik started sponsoring a group of small children, it would be over for all tall skaters. There are too many little skateboarders huddling in massive stairs on boards taller than them. They are only eight years old, so their bones aren’t quite ready for El Toro yet. If they had a milk sponsor, however, they would have hit their growth spurts and land NBDs before they were even allowed to stand after 7:30 a.m.

This could be a big deal for energy drink companies, as they seem to like sponsoring kids as soon as they lose their first tooth. Introducing Nesquik to the skate market would add some necessary competition that would hopefully only benefit the kids and us the fans.

Health-ade Kombucha

I think Kombucha is for older pool skaters who buy it because their yoga teacher told them it would be good for their joints.

Maybe if there was a Kombucha brand that sponsored a bunch of older buds and brought them out of retirement, I’d be okay with that. Imagine Omar Hassan, Steve Caballero and Christian Hosoi filming a video in 2021 for a Whole Foods brand. I send my thanks to the Olympics. Without them, such a crossing would never have been possible.

Perrier

The first member of the Perrier skate team is expected to be Manuel Schenck. He can get by on a skateboard, but his main claim to fame is being the new cute boy Supreme. Loafers, tailored pants, a silk shirt, slicked back hair and Versace sunglasses are all you need to steal her look. He definitely drinks Perrier. In fact, he probably doesn’t drink it. He sips this.

He would likely be joined by Blondey and the rest of the Thames crew. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if Thames and Perrier collaborated and released a Perrier rugby jersey and a knit vest. I think this might be one of the few collaborations that could be worse than the Cariuma x Berrics collaboration.

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